Healthy life through forgiveness

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your achievements, your colleague sabotaged a project or your spouse hurts your feeling. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance — but if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. 

Scientific researches show that anger is a state of mind that seriously damages human health. Forgiveness, on the other hand, even if it comes hard to people, is pleasing, an aspect of superior morals, that eliminates all the harmful effects of anger, and helps the individual to enjoy a healthy life, both psychologically and physically. 

Forgiveness can lead to: 

1. Healthier relationships 
2. Greater spiritual and psychological well-being 
3. Less anxiety, stress and hostility 
4. Lower blood pressure 
5. Fewer symptoms of depression 
6. Lower risk of substance abuse 

The true aim of forgiveness must be to please Allah. Just as it is important to believe in the mercy and forgiveness of Allah, it is also necessary to base human relations on forgiveness. We cannot expect Allah’s forgiveness unless we also forgive those who do wrong to us. Forgiving each other, even forgiving one’s enemies is one of the most important Islamic teachings. 

We must keep in mind that as much as we need Allah’s forgiveness for our own sins and mistakes, we must also practice forgiveness towards those who do wrong to us. The Holy Qur'an speaks highly of forgiveness and overlooking shortcomings. Forgiveness is such a sweet and divine word that it is equal to love. 

The benefits of which have been scientifically identified, have been revealed in many verses of the Qur’an: 

1. Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; for Allah loves those who do good (A-li'Imraan 3:134) 
2. Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; But turn away from the ignorant”. (Al-A'raaf 7:199) 
3. Those who avoid the greater crimes and shameful deeds, and, when they are angry even then forgive; (Asy-Syuura 42:37) 
4. The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree): but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah. For (Allah) love not those who do wrong. (Asy-Syuura 42:40) 
5. But indeed if any show patience and forgive, that would truly be an exercise of courageous will and resolution in the conduct of affairs. (Asy-Syuura 42:43) 
6. O ye who believe! Truly, among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them! But if ye forgive and overlook, and cover up (their faults), verily Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (At-Taghaabun 64:14) 

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might try these 7 steps to reach a state of forgiveness: 

1. Consider the value of forgiveness as stated in the Qur'an and its importance in your life at a given time. 
2. Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being. 
3. When you're ready, actively choose to forgive the person who's offended you. 
4. Do not rebuke anyone when you notice his faults and failings. 
5. Forgives and forgets others’ faults. 
6. When someone wrongs you, you should do good to them. 
7. Perceives no fault in other people, so there is no question of forgiving them. 

Life is short. Let us not waste our energy on being angry at anyone. Remember our own shortcomings before we reflect on the shortcomings of others. Let us stop victimizing ourselves and think about how we have victimized others, and then seek their forgiveness. If they ask our forgiveness, let us always grant it to them. The Prophet (SAW) taught us that: “Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy” (Al-Bukhari). We must keep in mind that however we treat others is how Allah will treat us.

References: 

1. Tafseer of Al-Quran in English
2. Forgiveness in Islam
3. Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness
4. Very Beautiful Hadith and Forgiveness in Islam
5. Forgiveness and Tolerance in Islam